MAMA

*Read till the end*

I’ve always wondered, as a child, why you were never like the other moms, why whenever I fall, you would make me feel ashamed instead of making me feel loved, I never understood why the story my friends’ mom stories, are different with yours. It once came to a point I questioned your love for me.

You raised me and provided me my needs and wants, and with that, I am already lucky. You gave me food, clothes, toys, gadgets, and a lot more material things that could disappear in the future, but there are also other things, traits should I say, that would be instilled in me up to the day I die, and with that, Thank You.

We never had the best relationship, we have a good relationship but we never had the best. If you think or maybe other people think it is because we’re so different, no, as a matter of fact, it’s the other way around. You’re brave, I’m brave. You’re confident, I’m confident. You’re tough, I’m tough. And these are why we always clash, it is because none of us has the gut to bow down to one another, even when I should, because you’re my mother. But just so you know, I wasn’t this brave, I wasn’t this confident, I wasn’t this tough.

I think I was around 8 years old when it all started, I fell down and got a scratch on my knee, of course I cried, but not because I was hurt but because I was scared. I was scared of what you would say to me by the time you see me. And of course as expected, you got mad at me and told me that if I get another scratch, I couldn’t come back to my friends anymore. They were so important to me that time, it’s because my mind felt free when I was with them, I can still remember how broad my imaginations were when I was with them. So of course, I had to fight for that. At 8, I set my mind and myself to be strong, that I would not cry at any pain that would come to my life. That time, I was only referring to physical injuries since at that age, I didn’t have any idea how crazy life could really be, how it could make our emotions go haywire. So yeah, it was all because of that day, why I’m like this now. Why most people call me the tough one, the strong hearted one, or the mature one. Yes I still do shed some tears, but if you’ve noticed, not as much as I should have whenever something bad or painful happens.

I did not tell that story to make you feel angry or guilty. I told you that story because I want to thank you for not going easy on me, for teaching me how to stand on my own at such a young age. I don’t know if you already knew the path I was heading, because you gave me a character that is needed in the kitchen, and then in life. I’m not sure if you planned this or you’ve noticed, but you built me to be you. And you have no idea that for me, becoming like you is such a dream come true, a satisfaction, an achievement.

I wonderED, I never underSTOOD, I questioNED. You see, all of these are in past tense, because now I know why, and I am happy that you taught me how to stand up for myself, how to be brave and how being different is never a bad thing, and how words are not enough to explain your actions and your love.

I, we, are lucky to have you as our mother, me, Ahya, Atchi, Kuya. Without you, we wouldn’t be here, I mean, where else can our bodies form and come out if you’re not here. We might not show it and say it most of the time, but we are lucky to have you as a mother. We are lucky to have you and Papa as our parents, and I may not say this out loud, but I am extremely proud to have you as our parents, we had our ups and downs, but that’s part of life, and God would never give us our downs if there are no ups right?

Once again, Thank you & I Love You. Happy Mother’s Day!

 

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